untitled.

right timing.

As these few months have passed, so many things have gone uphill to a crazy spiral downhill, then back up, or at least somewhat up. i can say that i am perfectly content with not being content with life, if that makes any sense. i understand that what i want for myself in the present and what i want for my future will not happen within a blink of an eye. no matter what, i am still aiming to further myself in every aspect that i can. i am making an effort to be in school this summer, even if it is one class, and registering fall semester with at least 3 classes. even with a full time schedule at work, i will be going on vacations. which by the way, i will ENJOY every minute of it. i understand that i cannot work so hard and not have any play time. i am young and still trying to find myself. i need to struggle to succeed and experience to learn. every decision i make in my life is for me, not for anyone else. i am not here to make anyone happy with my decisions besides myself. if it turns out to be a bad decision, at least i learn from it. i would rather learn from something bad than make someone else’s decision for me and wonder what it would have been like if i chose otherwise.

As far as my relationship, i am happy. there are the ups and downs, but we’re not perfect. we love each other and care for one another. we both want a future together, but for now we are focusing on the present. we both know and understand that in order to have a happy and fulfilling future together, we must better ourselves, emotionally, educationally, and financially. 

Friendships has always been one topic that i seem to stay exactly where i left off. the same amount of friends, and the same circle. i do tend to keep my circle small. those who are in it, has been there for years. you can say i have a trust issue, but for me it works. i am happy with who i surround myself with, now. they are nice and caring. they don’t care for the drama nor the bullshit. they are too busy with their own lives to try to ruin others. those people, are my friends. when they see you doing something great and succeeding, they congratulate you and help motivate you instead of talking bad about you behind your back. im grateful for those who are around me. nothing but positive people.

Family. my blood. my everything. our bonds have gotten closer, which i am so thankful for. we are a bunch of loud, short, crazy, asian people! lol im glad i have them there to support me. and my sister who have done so much for me. even if it wasn’t the right way to come about certain situations, she has motivated me to do better.

everything will fall into place, i am sure. its just a matter of time. until then i will be patient, take every step thats ahead of me, and experience life and what it has to offer.